That is how she feel sometimes,
Behind the face of perfection she put on at times,
Behind the beautiful dress she wears advertised in New York times,
Behind the image of a woman in control of how she reacts to things all times,
The woman who never lets her emotions spill over, she is always always all smiles
The woman who is stable inside.
Behind all that,
Days come when she feels like nothing means a thing,
She gets a little bit too hard on herself for nothing
Maybe not a little,
Maybe a lot harder than the weight these words are carrying.
She overthinks every little choice she wants to make,
Thinks about the choices before it is even made,
How many spoons of sugar for her tea,
Should the phone be on the bed while charging or maybe it's better on the table,
Should she have nodded or simply said yes in her response,
Nodding seems a bit rude,
Or maybe it is OK,
But why not put the effort and say yes or OK instead of simply using actions,
She isn't deaf or dumb,
She can say yes or no,
She has a voice,
Is it about her or the other person, does the other person even care?
Did they even notice she nodded her head?
And what about that time she said yes to a date,
Maybe she should have said no,
Maybe she should not have put herself in a situation where she would be asked out anyway,
The most beautiful girls are like apples,
the ones up above on the highest branch of the apple tree,
they are not reached easily by pickers and they end up thinking something is wrong with them,
Yet all along,
They are simply the best!
She is NOT supposed to be asked out!
She is a good apple, high above the trees!
Lonely but she knows her worth!
Maybe she shouldn't even be putting down her thoughts in writing,
The best people in life are the most secretive,
Or the introverts,
Maybe the best are extroverts,
Maybe it is OK to put down her thoughts.
She is no-longer aware of who she is,
Maybe is trying to find Identity and the more she seeks it,
She loses herself.
She probably needs to relax,
It is probably never that serious,
But who cares anyhow.